Tuesday, August 31, 2010

12. Geek Boner

Daniel Reese, painter of sneakers. I thought about it and decided that going through the trouble of hiring workers to build a dungeon underneath my house just so I can kidnap this man and get him to paint sneakers for me, will probably be more costly and risky than to pay the £500 (pounds!) he charges, for a customised paint job of your pair of Nike Air Force One(s).

See more pics below (link)
(also today I learned that holding down 'ALT' while typing '0163' = £)

Saturday, August 28, 2010

10: Twinkle twinkle little vampire

I would like to express a few... disagreements, with the twilight movie(s).
Firstly, Edward (aka. the main dude) and his 'people' are NOT vampires, they are some sort of glittery demon race of humanoids that just happen to suck penis blood. Count Orlock from Nosferatu is a real vampire. If you haven't seen that classic film, please watch it. The Count makes Edward Cullen look like... well no..he already looks like a sissy boy, but my point is the Count is evil and bad, just how a vampire SHOULD be. I will add that Blade was a kick-ass vampire as well.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

9. The Expendables

I dream of concepts such as, world peace, a cure for cancer, donuts that are healthy, three day weekends every week and of course, a film with all my favourite big action movie heroes starring in it.

The Expendables due out on the 12th of August here in Australia, stars no less than 7 action movie stars that make my list. Sly Stallone, Jet Li, Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren (aka "big russian dude from Rocky), Jason Statham and uncredited appearances by Bruce Willis and the legend himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

 If this movie actually has a decent storyline I may be able to die a... well, let's say a 'content' man. I would, however, have been able to die a happy man If they had added Wesley Snipes ("you forgot cho boardin pass!"), Stephen Seagal, Kurt Russel and the CGI inclusion of Neytiri from Avatar. The only thing I'm a bit sceptical about is Mickey Rourke with the cheesey grin and a funny looking sombrero on his head; everyone else in this movie is looking badass yet here we have good ol Mickey looking like the matured alcoholic version of Speedy Gonzales that kill's terrorists with his morning breath <sigh>  love ya Mickey...(not really).

Sunday, August 8, 2010

8. You can find me NOT in the club... at least not as much.

I'm over it, I'm over going out to a nightclub either once a week or once a fortnight and spending $150 bucks on alcohol that's just going to leave me feeling like shit for the next day or two. I miss the days where I actually woke up on a Sunday morning feeling fresh..in fact i miss the days where i actually woke up in the morning on a Sunday. The $150+ a week spent on clubbing and relatively pointless bopping to music that i largely don't listen to at home anyway, would benefit me so much more if it was going to something that doesn't decrease the lifespan of my liver by a few years and and rot my vocal chords till i'm sounding like the fucking Marlborough man on a bad day.

So no, you will not find me in a bar, or a club, pissing the night away anymore....well at least that's what the parched throated angry man inside me is saying.

P.S. oh and happy birthday to my boy Jay - whose mad birthday outing is the reason i'm feeling like dirt today.